Everybody is Different
I am going to keep this short and sweet, I am going to tell you a little more about me, and get more honest and personal about myself than I ever have done publicly before.
A statement I like to live by and constantly remind myself of is that, everybody is different.
There is no right or wrong as to how we should think or live our lives in terms of how society and social pressures make out. I myself, am a twenty year old girl, turning twenty-one in late august. And I like to go out and see my friends, but I don't always want to go 'out out', as people like to say. I am talking about my battle with social anxiety.
Nightclubs make me anxious, dark rooms make me feel claustrophobic, I feel trapped. I don't feel like this all the time, I have nights were I am absolutely fine. I believe this all comes down to self confidence and having that feeling of being comfortable with your surroundings and peers who you feel safe around. I have battled with self confidence for a long time. Growing up was never easy for me socially. I was always the kid who wanted to do something different and not follow the crowd. I wanted to be my own person and original in my own definition and purest form. At the time, I used to feel fine about that, then other times I would be made to feel ashamed by my social peers for not being 'like them'. Nobody on this earth, should be made to feel like they should talk, or act a certain way.
My self confidence, still effects me today. Currently writing this post, I couldn't feel more 'less confident' if I tried. I still struggle with some of my friends, especially in big groups. I often worry if they feel like I am pushing them away, or putting up a wall, but I'm not. Sometimes, I just don't feel confident and comfortable, and I wouldn't know what to say. This is normal. We all have our different personalities and traits. I am a combination of an introvert and an extrovert. This is also okay.
I wanted to write this post, with the hope that although not everyone can relate to these feelings, that maybe at least one person will read this and will get it. If you are that one person, this is my letter to you, a snippet of my story. And to remind you, that everything is going to be okay.